Reputation

Subject: Dear Abby 
 
 Dear Abby, 

 I am a crack dealer in Ashtabula City who has recently been diagnosed 
 as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Harperfield Township and one of  my 
 sisters, who lives in Saybrook Township, is married to a transvestite named Teddy. 
 
 My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling 
 crack. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters,  who 
 are prostitutes in Kingsville Township. 

 I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence 
 at Conneaut Prison for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother 
Teddy  is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his 
 three children. 

 I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who  is on the 
Austinburg Township Zoning Board and moonlights a part time "working girl." 
 
 All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancée and  look 
 forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be  totally 
 open and honest with her. 
 
 Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for 
 President? 

 Signed, 
 Worried About My Reputation 

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